Some Thoughts on Closing

I am numb.

I am sure the tears will come later.

Denial is a state I’ve been living in ever since the Downtown Santa Cruz store closed in April. I was nearly convinced that if I just ignored the possibility, it wouldn’t happen. In reality, I think we all knew this was coming. We’ve known the state of things for quite a while now, and though we all hoped Direct Brands would be able to purchase the company and give us another shot at being successful, there was a distinct feeling of dreadful anticipation.

I am now angry. Why couldn’t DB save us? Why did publishers upturn the tentative purchase agreement when they knew over 11,000 jobs were at stake? Why, on God’s green earth, don’t people care enough about reading to realize that this is just another step in the process of losing yet another precious resource?

I realize I am preaching to the choir.

There will be no bargaining. I know there is absolutely nothing to be done when it is a large corporate company that is breathing its last. Although, I suppose, if you count throwing out the suggestion to open our own bookstore, then yes, some of us have already tried to bargain with fate… But we know this is also not practical.

Depression may come, particularly because we at Borders Express Capitola are a family. We have become so through our mutual love of books, stories, and just about all things nerdy. In my nearly five years here, I have formed lasting friendships with my coworkers and several regulars. I may be bordering on the melodramatic when I say so, but I feel as if we are a group of foster children being put up for separate adoptions. Who knows when we will see each other again? We will never be in the same place at the same time like this ever again, and it makes me sick. This store is my second home.

Someday, I will accept what has happened here. I will know that the five years I have spent here have set me up with some of the greatest workplace experience and a genuine love of customer service. This has been the best environment in which a person could ask to work -- so much so that it has never really felt like work, but more like being in a club dedicated to all my favorite things and people.

I would like to thank all of our customers, regulars and infrequent visitors, for their love, support, and genuine book-centric conversations over the years. I will miss you.

To my coworkers,

I won’t miss you.  Because we’re gonna make the book-club happen.

And that’s my final answer.

~Aimee